June 23, 2014
I don’t know what to feel. Disappointed? Hopeless? I’ve been distracting myself lately with work. The more frustrated I become the more work I take in. I keep hoping for that glimmer of possibility that maybe the harder I take all these in full force, the less regret I’ll have when things doesn’t work out. If I exhausted all my options through it all, was that enough? To be honest, no matter how much I tell myself that it’s going to be okay, I will always have that little bit of regret. I wake up and I dream that maybe the today would be the day even if I see dead ends in every turn and it’s exhausting…
LCF will always be there, but the opportunity I’ve been blessed to have is an opportunity of a lifetime. I promised myself two years ago to be emotionally ready for this one heck of a roller coaster ride full of fleeting happiness and disappointments. I thought I was emotionally ready to let it go, but I’m not. My mind screams that I have to go, that I need to go, that I deserve it. Up to this point, I think I’ve exhausted all options…
Maybe my friend was right, whether I go or I stay I will still thrive because that’s what I was meant to be.
I am in a roller coaster ride of emotions.
How do you let go and still fight at the same time?
Doors are slamming in my face, yet I rise and I hope even if my heart aches in my sleep.